Superwoman Vs. The Dentist

It has been a few days, and those days have been crazy as per usual.  On Monday morning, I woke up not feeling very well.  I was incredibly tired, dizzy, and if it wasn't for the fact that I dragged myself downstairs for a little bit to eat and drink, I probably would have been blacked out on the floor of my bathroom.  Call an ambulance...yeah right!  Go to the doctor...not happening!  As the room spun around me, what do you think I did?  If you answered made lunches, packed my kids backpacks, and started breakfast, you would be correct.  Even though I felt completely ill, the only thing I could think about was what would happen if someone else had to take care of my kids and I hadn't set everything up for them.  Jake takes a lot of his medicine in the morning.  Add to that the fact that my husband has never packed lunch for them, and it was water play day and they needed a change of clothes on top of everything else, and you have a recipe for one neurotic mom who needs to make sure things are done correctly.  It is amazing.  We take care of our children so well, but we don't take the time to take care of ourselves at all.  I am blaming my illness on the fact that I run around all day, definitely do not keep myself hydrated enough (I am guessing diet soda doesn't count), and don't sleep well to boot.  My diet is far, far, far from healthy.  I will try to make it to the doctor someday, but in that moment, I just had to play superwoman.  I had to drag myself up, do everything I could to make sure it was done right, wake my kids, give them breakfast, get them ready, and even take them to school.  Only then did I give myself permission to rest.  If I had asked my husband to help, he would have, but instead I played martyr.  It is something I have to stop doing.  Every once in a while, I have to recover from the insanity that is my life, and the non-stop joyride of thoughts that consume my brain.  I need to lay in bed, watch TV, and not think about things for a while.  It is ok to be sick and to turn the reigns over to someone else.  That is what family (and my big, fat notebook of instructions on how to care for my children) are there for.  Someday I am sure I will learn.

Speaking of taking better care of my children than myself, and also of the non-stop joyride of thoughts that consume my brain, today was the boys' first trip to the dentist.  In true superwoman fashion, I scoured every magazine my city publishes looking for the most kidtastic dentist I could find.  Jake's first haircut was something of a nightmare (let's just say we tipped the hairstylist $20 on a $25 haircut to make up for all the screaming).  I was having flashbacks and it wasn't pretty.  We chose a jungle themed office with DVDs and video games galore.  I dragged my husband out of work to accompany me.  There was no way I was doing this alone.  When we arrived, we were told that they would be taking the boys back without us.  Well, at least I wouldn't hear the chaos.  I sat in the waiting room barely breathing, heart pounding out of my chest, waiting to hear what had happened (or at least to catch Jakey as they tossed him out the door).  When the cleanings were done, they called us in to speak to the dentist.  Both children had behaved like perfect angels.  Ok, maybe Jake tried to bite the dentist's finger once or twice, but that was the worst of it, and that wasn't so bad.  I had survived the dentist, and now I could be at ease (at least for the next few hours).  I always expect the worst, but Jake surprises me sometimes.  Thank god he has a supermom, but even if I was just slightly above average, he would probably be ok.  Maybe Superwoman can hang up her cape every once in a while and learn to relax!  There is always tomorrow!