Rescue Me!

It seems so long ago that things with Jake were going well.  It wasn't...it has only been a couple of months since I felt secure in the knowledge that we were on the right track.  We had taken a summer vacation that didn't end in my nervous breakdown.  We were planning a trip to New York for the boys' birthday.  Camp ended and the school year started, and all was right in the world.  Things were so fantastically quiet that my husband and I even began discussing adopting a little girl.  We finally felt like we had some balance.  Where did it all go wrong???!!!

Looking back, the downhill slide began when we took a break from two of his medicines over the summer.  You would think I would have learned by now....If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It!!!!  Things still seemed ok, but not perfect.  He was back on both supplements by the time school started.  Even with that, it appeared that we had managed to change and change back without ruining anything we had worked hard to accomplish.  True, his bowel movements never returned to normal, and his flapping went up and down, but he was happy, social, and well-behaved as far as I could tell (at least while he was at home).

Fast forward a few weeks.  Jake is at a place now where he can't control his body.  He is hyper like nothing I have ever seen before.  His teacher thinks he is the bad kid in a class full of kids who actually are bad, and I shiver with secret terror everytime I leave him at school.  I never know what I am going to hear when I pick him up.

Clearly something is going on inside his body to make him this way.  There is an imbalance that I cannot fix.  We now have him on 1/4 tsp of the Liquid Carnosine Plus and the regular dosage of the Behavior Balance Liquid.  I changed juice only to change it back when I realized the new juice had Splenda (hoping that that was what was causing the issues).  I also switched from Claritin (which also has Splenda....surprise) to a natural allergy remedy from Whole Foods (filled with herbs that I thought might help as well).  Granted, it has only been a day, but to see him struggle with his self-control so much absolutely kills me!

As I troll the internet searching for answers, and try to consider what each microscopic change will do to my child, I wonder how it is that I got here.  When something is wrong with your baby, isn't there supposed to be a doctor you can turn to to help you find the answers?!  Ever since my children were infants, that has not been the case.  Without getting into specifics, we have been to two GI doctors, two allergists, three ENTs, and I am currently considering changing pediatricians.  We have also been to a developmental pediatrician, who we will be re-visiting next week!  The term "practicing medicine" has applied to many of our circumstances.  I have always felt like everyone was just learning their craft, and hadn't yet perfected it.  I have had to become a doctor with a medical degree from Google university!  I am fine with the fact that this falls on my shoulders most of the time, but when things go wrong I have no one to turn to.  I need help figuring out what is going on inside of Jacob.  I need for tests to be run and medicines to be administered.  I need for someone with an actual medical education to take over.  I would like to retire.  The feeling of responsibility can sometimes be too much for me.  I need to be rescued by a knight in shining lab coat!